Either way, I don’t know if you’ll like it or hate it. Minions is either aggressively mediocre, or otherwise it alternates between sort-of-good and mostly-bad. No reviewer really can tell you whether or not to see this movie. Apart from a couple of yellow, plasticky, non-human Minion butts, and some pervasive, relentlessly hollow commodification of entertainment, there’s no reason on paper to not see the film. That whole “is something we do together really better than nothing?” is another way of asking a bigger question: is it better to spend 92 unretrievable minutes on something like this, as a family, rather than being at home together, sitting in the living room, being adjacent to one another even if you’re not all doing the same thing-even if you’re all on your phones, or iPads, or whatever, this being 2015 and all?Īnd yet, I can’t actively warn you against Minions. The music, which could feel like a welcome inclusion, is so clearly pandering toward adults who are escorting their children to the movie-“Hey, if we placate you with a 60s song every quarter hour, will you promise not to walk out?” It would be just as fun to watch an hour and a half of Super Bowl commercials, which are at least more consistently entertaining.Īnd now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk. You might think, “Well, watching Minions as a family is better than nothing.” The truth is, it’s definitely not better than just reading to your kid, and probably not the most enjoyable way to spend what’s quickly approaching $13 per ticket at the theaters. Overkill (having apparently missed the first two movies) has no idea that having Minions help you execute dastardly schemes is like having bulls help you construct your china shop. The Minion trifecta that serves as the movie’s center (voiced collectively by co-director Pierre Coffin), after eons of jockeying, are ready to help Overkill in her plan to steal the royal jewels of England. Minions traces the history of its eponymous heroes, a race of creatures who evolved specifically to serve the baddest villain around-like T-Rex, Napoleon, or the Sandra Bullock-voiced 60’s-era villain Scarlet Overkill. At least the Shrek films peppered their scripts with questionable jokes, so that adults could be either interested or offended. Minions, though, is an almost aggressively hollow project. Like you, I don’t demand that every children’s movie be the newest, best thing to ever happen to film (though neither do I assume a children’s movie has to be formulaic and banal). So it’s probably safe to say that Minions has the artistic integrity of a WWE RAW match. The series has naturally spawned a sequel, a spin-off, and a further tri-quel in development for 2017, as well as six short films, a theme park ride, and three video games.
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